On a cold and windy day there was a little girl who was lost in the deep dark ocean on her boat. It was very old and rusty. She had travelled for days on her boat. She would always go fishing in the sunny afternoon.
Her land had disappeared. She could not find anyone. She felt worried in case she fell off the top of her boat into the cold water. Sometimes she feels sea sick and that makes her feel sad and lonely. She doesn't like being alone.
Her land had disappeared. She could not find anyone. She felt worried in case she fell off the top of her boat into the cold water. Sometimes she feels sea sick and that makes her feel sad and lonely. She doesn't like being alone.
She had lots of fish as her friends. Some were orange and white and also blue and yellow.
They were beautiful. Sometimes she would catch some and cook them for tea and they were delicious.
They were beautiful. Sometimes she would catch some and cook them for tea and they were delicious.
Once she had her delicious diner she went to bed. In the morning she woke up to a big loud noise. She was worried in case it was something bad happening. She got out of bed and went outside. It was a helicopter. They were there to rescue her. She was excited and grateful to be off her boat.
Hi Avah
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your writing. The first sentences is great as I can see you have included some describing words. Have you been on a boat before?
Miss Smith-Palmer
yes I have. With Alexis and mum to dimond harbour
DeleteHi Avah
ReplyDeleteGreat writing. You have demonstrated a great understanding of adding adjectives to bring your writing alive. Keep up the good work!
Hi Avah,
ReplyDeleteA very exciting and interesting story. You made me really want to read the story till the end to find out what happened. I am please a helicopter came to her rescue. Have you been fishing before and caught some fish?
yes i have been fishing with my dad before and i got 1
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